1. "Refuse the evil, and choose the good." - ISAIAH 7:15 -
2. Clinking your beer bottles or your wine glasses together will "knock" the BAD spirits out of the alcohol, and will reduce the hangover. AMEN. Works for me :)
3. INSULT OF THE DAY: Your momma is SO FAT, she's got SMALLER FAT WOMEN orbiting around her :)
4. "Men ALWAYS WANT to be a girl's FIRST LOVE, and girls WANT to be a man's LAST ROMANCE." - Oscar Wilde -
5. If you made any DONATIONS via your cell phone, you can get a donation tax receipt at www.mGive.org/R or email them at: care@mgive.org
6. After JAY VAN SATISFIED his latest conquest, she was very QUIESCENT.
7. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. Thanks for the "THOUGHT" Sheri.
8. All of you will learn very quickly, never fear. - JAY VAN -
9. Your lucky numbers for today: 29 44 13 22 5 47.
10. "Let not the Sun go down upon your wrath." - EPHESIANS 4:26 -
11. A new UAB Health Study says that even very brief "instructions in meditation appears to help people cope with pain." - UAB Medical Center, UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA @ Birmingham -
12. Today, APR 8th, 1893, the VERY FIRST recorded COLLEGE BASKETBALL game was played between Geneva College and a YMCA team. A 14-year old girl RELATED to Michelle Ruiz won the bracket contest that year, and the YMCA team was coached by a relative of John Longshore. - http://www.google.com/ -
13. Hmmm, #13 again. ALABAMA has 13 NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS BABY. And, I know this to be VERY TRUE... A picture of an ELEPHANT facing your front door will bring good health and prosperity to ALL who live there.
14. INSULT OF THE DAY: I whole-heartedly DISAGREE. Your INFERIORITY COMPLEX is COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED in my eyes.
15. JAY VANs TAP TIP OF THE DAY: To pour the perfect beer; tip the glass at a 45-degree angle, pour slowly to LESS than an inch to the lip of the glass, then let it settle, then top it off, and then hand it to me please :)
16. Scientists at McMaster University in Canada have created a vaccine to "treat cat allergies." About freaking time.
17. If you hit someone with a broom or a mop, even by accident, they will become lazy. Damn, somebody call the Mobile Police Department in Mobile, ALABAMA. Somebody has been beating the crap out of my friend DANA. :) just kidding Dana, couldnt resist :) Maybe that is why your knee hurts all the time, somebody beating your knee with a broom and mop.
18. Money won't buy you happiness, but it lets you be miserable in some really nice places. Right David?
19. "Never to suffer would be never to have been blessed." - Edgar Allen Poe -
20. "Put away LYING, speak every man truth with his neighbor: for we are members one of another." - EPHESIANS 4:25 -
21. After being ABSTEMIOUS for over 6 months, JAY VAN decided to have a beer.
22. After creating my new blog/website, this will be my very INCIPIENT "post."
23. "Love each other deeply, because love covers over a multiple of sins." - PETER 4:8 -
24. I cannot stand UNCTUOUS two-faced liars. Some of the worst kind of people on the planet.
25. When "Rusty" called the BUDWEISER SPORTSLINE WITH JOHN & BARRY on http://www.sportsradio740.com/ I was very NONPLUSED at his usual IDIOTIC comments.
26. "One may experience sorrow during the night, but joy arrives in the morning." - PSALMS 30:5 -
27. "For every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness." - Ralph Waldo Emerson -
28. The ONLY weapon that becomes sharper with constant use is the TONGUE.
29. I am being GRAVITAS when I say this, I was only FUNNIN'. (As Andy & Barney say).
30. "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." - PROVERBS 15:1 -
31. TIP OF THE DAY FOR HOT GIRLS: It is VERY bad luck for HOT GIRLS to wear pants or jeans while playing cards. Why? Because it is a proven FACT, that if you cross your legs while playing cards, you're MORE LIKELY to LOSE. This applies with ALL GAMES played on a table. So ladies, keep those feet on the floor! Besides, due to random gravity fluctuations BEYOND our control, us MEN-FOLK are more prone to accidentally on-purpose drop things on the floor, that for some reason, takes us a long time to find, once we drop said item. I PRAY THAT ALL THE HOT GIRLS KEEP WINNING :)
32. "We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing MUST be attained." - Marie Curie -
33. I have no clue who dreams this stuff up, but TODAY, FRI 4-8-11 is NATIONAL DRAW A PICTURE OF A BIRD DAY. I drew a picture of the AUB mascot, the most-famous "WAR CHICKEN". If anybody wants to see the picture, please email me at JAYVANBAMAFAN@gmail.com and I will GLADLY send it to you at no charge :)
34. "To LOVE someone DEEPLY gives you STRENGTH. Being LOVED by someone DEEPLY gives you COURAGE." - Lao Tzu - I personally, can PROMISE you that THIS IS VERY TRUE!
35. MONEY is like COW MANURE at COW COLLEGE in auburn, AL. It is NOT WORTH A THING unless you spread it around. So for the lucky readers that are reading this today, YOU ALONE can HELP ME PROVE THIS by spreading some of your money towards me. Email me at JAYVANBAMAFAN@gmail.com for my mailing address. Remember, I am a DISABLED USAF VETERAN on a VERY FIXED INCOME. As I have given to complete strangers in the past, IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL VERY GOOD. So start "spreading" yall.
36. "Be kind ONE to ANOTHER, tenderhearted, FORGIVING one another." - EPHESIANS 4:22 -
37. I have been VERY BLESSED to have KNOWN some girls that are EXTRA TASTY. YUMMY!!! But I found a website that will teach you HOW to make drinks. It is http://www.extratasty.com/ or you can email Kelly at kVanBAMAfan@gmail.com and she can TEACH you how to make this AWESOME drink called DENNIS THE MENACE. It is VERY GOOD and you CANNOT even taste the alcohol in it. Please let me know what you think about the site.
38. JAY VAN is dealing with some financial, medical, personal, & physical problems. JAY VAN needs LUCRE.
39. JAY VAN is famous for saying things like, KILLING 2 STONES WITH 1 BIRD, and my friend GREG, says things EXACTLY like me, when he refers to himself as a HALK-SHOW TOAST. Very VERY funny. I love it. So along those lines, ALWAYS proof-read carefully to see if you any words out.
40. "WISDOM is a fountain of life to him who has it." - PROVERBS 16:22 -
41. Kelly and I used to OWN 2 HOMES. VERY long story, but we LOST BOTH HOMES due to OTHERS' actions. We have/had legal documented proof to prove that. But one thing we were BOTH VERY PROUD of was the fact that we were NEVER known to BEDAUB either home.
42. Dadgum, that last post was very hard to compose :)
43. I read the following ONLINE NEWSPAPERS via email every single day. The BIRMINGHAM NEWS, the HUNTSVILLE TIMES, the MOBILE PRESS-REGISTER, and the MONTGOMERY ADVERTISER. I have YET to read ONE single article about people getting "HIGH" on BATH SALTS. But they are DAMN SURE doing it in PA and WI. Kelly has relatives that CHEW on PAIN PATCHES. She also has relatives that crush, and grind-up pain-pills like percocet, so that they can SNORT them. In addition to Kelly, I have bought BATH BEADS, BATH OILS, BATH SALTS, etc., as a ROMANTIC THING for other girls, BEFORE I EVER met Kelly. I would pour the lucky girl a glass of wine, light some candles, and run them a luxurious bubble bath, all in the name of ROMANCE. The GIRLs LOVE IT. Pretty soon you are going to need a PRESCRIPTION to take a bubble-bath. Sad, sad, and UN-FREAKING-REAL.
44. My entire point in #43 is this: The difference between GENIUS and STUPIDITY is that GENIUS HAS SOME LIMITS. Different as day and night, and as different as North and SOUTH. Dont worry though, I am sure it will catch on in ALABAMA. There are STUPID-PEOPLE in ALL 50 STATES + Canada :)
45. Here is another JAY VAN LOVE TIP: This works for BOTH male and females. Pick ONE month of the year, where you tell each other ONE NEW SECRET, EACH DAY OF THAT MONTH. Something YOU HAVE NEVER TOLD EACH OTHER. It will help CREATE TRUST; which a relationship and/or marriage WILL NOT WORK WITHOUT TRUST. You can also goto http://www.postsecret.com/ and check out that website.
46. "May the LORD continually BLESS YOU with Heaven's blessings as well as with human JOYS." - PSALMS 128:5 -
47. JAY VAN has been BLESSED COUNTLESS TIMES by GOD and others. I have been blessed so many times, I cannot count that high. I am also VERY GRATEFUL and THANKFUL. THANK-YOU LORD :)
48. It was an AFFLATUS that led me to #46 and #47.
49. "Education is WHEN you READ the FINE PRINT. Experience is what you get if you DON'T read the fine print." - Pete Seeger -
50. JAY VAN is a VERY patient man, but ONE of the very FEW ways to PI$$ me off is in talking to people that EQUIVOCATE on a constant, non-stop basis. TRY ME. I dare ya :) My brother Hank is like that, and drives me insane. I could name more people like that, but I dont want to hurt any feelings.
51. JAY VANs NEW MOTTO: ENJOY LIFE. There's PLENTY of time to be dead.
52. "Unto you that FEAR MY NAME shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in HIS wings." - MALACHI 4:2 -
53. The AUBs and the NITTs WILL BE FEARING the name of NICK SABAN this coming Fall. If ANYONE disagrees with me, shut-up, put your mouth where your email is and money me at JAYVANBAMAFAN@gmail.com
54. BEFORE the ALABAMA vs. penn state NITTany lions game last year on 9-11-10, I bet SIX NITTs that BAMA would WIN. Well as of today, there is still 1 NITT that has REFUSED to pay me. One good thing I can say about BAMA and AUB fans, THEY ALWAYS PAY UP. Way to go NITTs. The NITT fans $UCK. At least the ones that wont pay up. I LOVE JOE PA. But the game was in SEPT, and I didnt get PAID from the 1st NITT untill FEB of 2011. FIVE WHOLE MONTHS AFTER THE GAME. Must not be much pride in being a NITT.
55. I joke and play around alot, but let me PROMISE YOU, everyone that is LUCKY enough to read this; I want everybody to know that 99.9% of what I type is VERISIMILITUDE.
56. The FDA has APPROVED a new SHINGLES vaccine for people aged 50+. It is about 70% effective.
57. I should make yall readers PAY ME for this one, heehee. INSULT OF THE DAY: I am terribly sorry. I SHOULD NOT talk about YOUR MOM......I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE MAN!!!
58. Wow #58. Before his tragic death in a car accident due to not wearing his seat-belt, my ALL-TIME favorite player for ALABAMA was #58 DERRICK THOMAS. An outstanding linebacker that went on to play MANY years for the KANSAS CITY CHIEFS in the NFL. He was my favorite ALABAMA player of ALL-TIME before the wreck. To this day, I still never knew EXACTLY why. I cried for a very long time when he did die.
59. Even though I HATE these SISSY-FIED new "composite" bats that the NCAA is making college teams use now, I still LOVE college baseball. I just entered a contest to win an ALL-EXPENSE paid trip to the COLLEGE WORLD SERIES in Omaha, NE. http://tiny.cc/ncaacws
60. In closing, let us ALL remember: "Let us LOVE, NOT in word or speech, but in TRUTH and ACTION." - JOHN 3:18 -
61. Yall please remember...Thank-You all for reading, and PLEASE feel free to email me and/or call me anytime, day or nite, 24/7, 365 days a year at JAYVANBAMAFAN@gmail.com and my number is 334-782-3111.
62. I hope & pray that ALL of you have a very "LIVELY" family. That is all for today. POOF.
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