JAYVANBAMAFAN

Monday, May 23, 2011

KNOWING HOW TO ACT & QUOTES FOR MON 5-23-11

Just heard on FOX NEWS RADIO that a man in ohio is SOOO bummed out about THE RAPTURE not happening this past SAT, 5-21-11, that he has filed a disability claim saying he has END OF THE WORLD POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER, due to the fact that IT DID NOT HAPPEN.
A man in michigan won ONE MILLION DOLLARS in the MICHIGAN STATE LOTTO and due to a loop-hole he is still getting FOOD STAMPS every month.
May GOD BLESS the families and victims of the tornado that nailed Joplin, MO this morning.
For ALL of my loyal readers and newbies also, let me ask yall a question. WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Picture this scenario please: You have an apartment or a home and you have either INVITED guests in your home OR you have UNINVITED guests in your home. While they are there, you happen to step outside, or go to the bathroom, etc., and YOUR HOME PHONE RINGS or YOUR CELL PHONE RINGS...and WITHOUT your permission, your guest ANSWERS YOUR PHONE and starts talking CRAP to the person calling you. WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Would you EVER let that person IN your apartment or home EVER again?
Please email me at JAYVANBAMAFAN@gmail.com or call me at 334.782.3111 and let me know your opine please.
Well, as most of you know I have been dealing with and fighting this MONSTROSITY of an ailment known as DEEP VEIN THROMBOSIS. In short, I have swollen legs, ankles, and feet, from the knees down on both legs. I recently had a VEINOUS DUPLEX ULTRASOUND done on both legs from my groin to the tips of both sets of toes (KY Jelly is COLD). The results showed the blood clots are still there but THEY ARE SHRINKING due to me taking Lovenox injections in my stomach twice per day. I also had lung X-rays and as of today, I am STILL (THANK GOD) lung-CANCER FREE. YAYYYY.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO if your EX was in your apartment and PRETENDED TO BE YOU on your cell phone AND on your computer???
That is why I TITLED this post as KNOWING HOW TO ACT. Some white-people embarrass me.
You will have BAD DREAMS if you change your bed linens on a Friday.
Sometimes the most GIVING, LOVING thing you can do is to try things a different way - your husbands or wifes way. (AMEN!)
Today is NATIONAL LUCKY PENNY DAY.
"You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through." - Rosalyn Carter
I hope and pray that when you read my website, that you dont find anything containing a LONGUEUR.
Many people speak because (and only because) they dont know how to be silent.
A new MAYO CLINIC HEALTH RESEARCH STUDY suggests that daily cellphone use could have a NEGATIVE impact on male fertility.
Today, 5-23, in 1929, the first talking Mickey Mouse cartoon was released. His first words were "HOT DOGS!"
The Hamilton Family contains many, Many, MANY LIBERTINES.
Today is MAY 23rd, 2011, and it has RAINED EVERY SINGLE DAY THIS MONTH in the town where I presently reside. We are having a nice little thunderstorm right now, with NO TORNADOS...THANK GOD!!!
If you say goodbye to a friend on a bridge, you will NEVER see that friend again.
INSULT OF THE DAY: Why dont you slip into something more comfortable?...LIKE A COMA!!!
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." - Eleanor Roosevelt -
JAY VAN makes ALL GIRLS SLAVER when they HEAR my ALABAMA ACCENT. You may call me anytime 24/7 to find out :)
Habits are like a rope. You add a thread every day, until it is impossible to break.
UAB Health Research Study shows that by CROSSING YOUR ARMS, you can REDUCE PAIN by confusing your brain's nerve and pain receptor signals.
On MAY 22nd, 1906, the WRIGHT BROTHERS were awarded a patent for their "FLYING MACHINE".
I can NEVER understand why SOME people want to even TRY being BELLICOSE with me.
If you start making a bedspread or quilt, FINISH IT! If you dont, you will be unlucky in love.
INSULT OF THE DAY: When you go to the mind-reader, do YOU get HALF-PRICE?
"I never think of the future - it comes soon enough." - Albert Einstein -
The best way to eliminate temptation is to succumb to it.
90% of ALL ALABAMA GIRLS have a BEAUTIFUL PHYSIOGNOMY.
A new obama health-care study shows that taking Viagra could increase your risk of hearing loss.
Glad I dont have to worry about THAT problem :)
Divorce or breakups can bring about LACHRYMOSE.
May 21st, 1956, THE USA exploded the first AIRBORNE HYDROGEN BOMB, nearly obliterating the Bikini Atoll Islands. The BIKINI that HOT GIRLS WEAR derived its name from the same set of islands :)
"A man of an ill tongue is dangerous in his city; and he that is rash in his talk SHALL be HATED." - SIRACH 9:18 -
Passing a child through the branches of a maple tree means good health and long life for the child.
INSULT OF THE DAY: If MOSES had seen your face, there would have been ANOTHER COMMANDMENT :)
"Sometimes it is not enough to do our best; we must do what is required." - Winston Churchill -
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
If yall happen to notice any TYPOs, then please let us NOT make a FOOFARAW over it.
JAY VAN LOVES TO QUAFF.
When you clip your fingernails, it is GOOD LUCK to always start with the index finger.
INSULT OF THE DAY: Whats wrong? Did you get up on the wrong side of the CAGE this morning?
"Courage is going from failure to failure WITHOUT losing enthusiasm." - Winston Churchill -
For EVERY complicated problem, there is a SIMPLE, easy to understand, WRONG ANSWER :)
JAY VAN loves playing with FUNGIBLE words.
Mayo Clinic Health trials show that new MELATONIN-BASED anti-depressants may help improve your sleep cycle quality and your moods.
"They that sow in tears shall reap joy." - PSALMS 126:5 -
In baseball, it is bad luck to touch the baselines while running on and off the field.
INSULT OF THE DAY: Your TEETH are SO YELLOW...I CANT BELIEVE ITS NOT BUTTER!!!
That is a very good way to end this post for today. Thanks for all the prayers. GOD BLESS YOU!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

PRAYER, QUOTES, & DESIGNS FOR TUE 4-26-11

Well, lets start off today with a prayer. Dear LORD, please bless everyone reading this right now, and bless their friends and families. Amen.
I have been attempting to "tweak" my website, and I hope yall like the subtle changes. I am trying to be user-friendly. And sometimes I get used, but MOST times I dont mind being used, depends upon what SHE looks like :)
"The LORD is near to ALL who call on HIM...in TRUTH." - PSALMS 145:18 -
Most of yall know that I was born and raised and that I LOVE Montgomery, and I LOVE THE STATE OF ALABAMA, not just sports. I have an outstanding Uncle Jimbo living in Prattville, but the REST of my family in Montgomery; SUCK! My brother is a FELON & my mother SHOULD BE. Long, LONG, very Very VERY sad Sad SAD story, but TRUE. I miss my LIFE and mostly I miss my FRIENDS in ALABAMA THE BEAUTIFUL. I am now living in "yankee-land" as I call it and I am very sad and alone living here. I run into TONS of people that are "IN-LOVE" with the ROMANTICISM of ALABAMA when I talk about it. The State of ALABAMA should PAY ME. I am a walking, talking tourism MAGNET. I should be a MAGNATE for THE STATE.
I graduated ROBERT E. LEE H.S. in 1985 at the age of 17, and joined the USAF at age 17. I am now disabled, and I DO have a great infrastructure if you will, here in yankee-land. I have great benefits, great insurance, great doctors (2 HOT ONES), and I have a SUPER apartment, in a VERY-LOW CRIME neighborhood. I MEAN WAY LOW. I feel like, HEY I SERVED MY COUNTRY, so I feel I DESERVE and have EARNED the good things that I DO HAVE now. I HATE the freaking COLD WEATHER, but it made it to 79 today. I wish it was 110 everyday just to PI$$ the yankees off. I would LAUGH SO HARD at them. GLOBAL WARMING MY A$$.
Even THOUGH I have ZERO friends and ZERO family up here, heck I am not even allowed to have a CAT, even though, GOD HAS BLESSED ME BIG TIME for what little I do have. So I am VERY THANKFUL. My health is fading fast due to MY FAULTS, which include smoking. I guess I am in a sort of DENIAL stage right now, but I am smart enough to know what I NEED to do.
I was homeless for 7 months which included being homeless in Montgomery, Elmore, Mobile, and for a time in Benton, PA. I stayed at the Salvation Army on Bell Street in Montgomery (I know it is gone now), but I WAS THE ONLY ONE IN THE BUILDING THAT HAS NEVER DONE CRACK. Dont worry, the ONLY things I do ARE LEGAL. I actually OWNED and HAD THE TITLE to a HOME in Montgomery, AND I WAS NOT ALLOWED TO LIVE THERE due to my EVIL MOTHER TELLING LIES. Do you know how BAD it SUCKS to OWN A HOUSE AND STILL BE HOMELESS??? And because of THE EVIL ONE, I dont own a car anymore either. And IT SUCKS walking in the COLD wind, rain, snow, ice, and freaking MUD. and I do mean COLD.
My DECORATED, ARMY VETERAN of WW II, JAMES JAY HILL...I called him DADDY HILL died in JAN of this year 2011, and not long before he died, I asked him HOW COME I DONT HAVE ANY FRIENDS IN YANKEE-LAND? And his answer was, "CUZ JAY, YOU MAKE PEOPLE FEEL STUPID!" Well, HE WAS CERTAINLY RIGHT. But it seems to me that 90% of AMERICANS thrive on BEING IGNORANT. People everywhere JUST DONT WANT TO HEAR IT. They "pretend" that if they DONT KNOW, then it wont affect them any.
"Suck it up, buttercup!" - Lauri DeRosier -
"HE answered their prayers, because they TRUSTED in HIM." - 1 CHRONICLES 5:20 -
Here is your ENGLISH lesson for the day: The Chinese word for GOOD is HAO.
Because of ALL the THOUSANDS of HOURS I have logged by taking my EVIL MOTHER to the Emergency Rooms in and around Montgomery & Birmingham & Prattville, most everyone that KNOWS me KNOWS that I AM THE MOST PATIENT MAN IN THE WORLD.
So yall take a break, but hurry up & come back & finish reading this, before I GET IMPATIENT :)
Infinite patience produces immediate results.
Play THESE numbers on the ALABAMA LOTTERY, and I PROMISE you WILL WIN ALL THE MONEY TODAY: 5 14 38 28 44 7.
"HE will respond to the DESTITUTE; HE will NOT despise their PLEA." - PSALMS 102:17 -
"I dont want marriage counseling, you would RIP ME to SHREDS." - Kelly J. VANDERGRIFT -
"The prayer of the upright pleases (the LORD)." - PROVERBS 15:8 -
Thoughts become things. They manifest in our minds. Better to THINK POSITIVE!
"The LORD...HEARS the prayer of the RIGHTEOUS." - PROVERBS 15:29 -
Another short prayer from JAY VAN...Dear LORD, PLEASE make a life-changing difference for all the suffering people in ISRAEL and in the UNITED STATES. AMEN.
The latest COSTLY obama health-care study says for you to wear AMBER around your neck (beads, or a pendant) to ward off a cold or the flu. I dont make the news, I just report it. :)
INSULT OF THE DAY: YOU MAKE ME believe in reincarnation. NOBODY can be AS STUPID AS YOU in ONE lifetime.
"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." - Mark Twain -
Somebody LIED to me, I was told that it was SAMUEL CLEMENS that said that!
JAY VAN wonders how many people will "catch" that? If you do "catch" it, please let me know :)
April is KEEP AMERICA BEAUTIFUL MONTH. That means we have 5 more days to clean it up. If you are lucky enough to be reading this, please DO YOUR PART...throw a DUMBOCRAT in the NEAREST DUMPSTER PLEASE.
"Ability can take you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there." - BEAR BRYANT -
"That MEANS, the AUBs WONT be 'there' very long." - JAY VAN -
I dont know HOW they found this out, but a MAYO CLINIC Health Study shows that sleeping with TOO MUCH LIGHT in your bedroom raises your risk of breast cancer by 22%. What happens if you sleep on the couch in the living room?
Way back in 1901, (I think we had snow that year), New York became the 1st state to require that cars have license plates. The YANKEES from New York had TRIED putting license plates on their horses, but the GOOD PEOPLE OF ALABAMA emailed them via telegraph and told them TO STOP TRYING IT. After that WARNING, the death toll of YANKEES being KICKED TO DEATH went down SIGNIFICANTLY. THANKS BAMA.
JAY VAN wanted to SAVE his marriage, but his wife Kelly QUAILED.
You are BLESSED with the FREEDOM to THINK as you please. Use it wisely.
"I DONT want a DIVORCE Kelly, but IF we are going to get divorced, why cant we have one like Lauri and Paul?" - JAY VAN -
It is always good luck for your business to have SOMETHING SILVER on your desk.
JAY VAN keeps CRIMSON on his desk, and it ALWAYS brings me LUCK.
INSULT OF THE DAY: YOU are PROOF that EVOLUTION CAN go in REVERSE!
"Whatever you are, be a good one." - Abraham Lincoln -
"Words should be WEIGHED, NOT counted." - Webster -
UAB Health Research Study SHOWS that children involved with music lessons will have BETTER brain functions as older adults when they grow up.
DUH!! JAY VAN played trumpet since 7th grade & was in glee club in 10th. I dont watch the show GLEE, but have seen previews. UNLIKE the liberal tv show, WE DID NOT have any sexually-oriented/challenged people in MY GLEE CLUB at ROBERT E. LEE H.S.
JAY VAN does NOT CARE what you do in your private bedroom, but STOP shoving it down our throats on TV. LESS than 2% of ALL AMERICANS are "GAY". More than 90% of our TV shows include "gay" characters. Why dont they make the shows REFLECT the TRUE NUMBERS on TV?
Did you throw your LIBERAL DUMBOCRATS AWAY YET?
JAY VAN LOVES horror movies, thrillers, suspense, science-fiction, fantasy style tv shows, movies, and books. Mysteries too. But has ANYONE but me NOTICED LATELY that every tv show or movie contains VOMITING and/or THROWING-UP? JAY VAN DOESNT MIND blood, guts, and gore, but DAMN, enough with the PUKING. All they have to do is HINT at it for us to GET IT. I dont Dont DONT, REPEAT, DO NOT WANT TO HEAR IT OR SEE IT. The other night, I saw VOMIT SCENES 3 times, on 3 different tv shows, WITHIN 15 MINS. of each other. And I AM NOT exaggerating. And all I have is BASIC CABLE. I have NO PAY CHANNELS. Jeesh.
"For the LORD taketh pleasure in HIS people: HE will beautify the meek with salvation." - PSALMS 149:4 -
"See? You dont need me and never did. You just wanted someone to play with and well, play with whomever you want JAY. HAPPY EASTER, my MICHAEL JAY. We could have had a nice life. Oh well. Hope you ENJOY your Easter ALONE and your life ALONE. I am outta here. You never have to worry nothing about me anymore. Your decision on that and if you could, please give my house key to andrew and have him drop it off or his wife to drop it off. Otherwise mail it or throw it away. Up to you but please let me know what you did with it so I know. Thanks. You owe me that much anyway. GOOD BYE JAY. I am gonna miss you sometimes. I hope someday you will miss me too. So long. Your KELLY-BABY." - Kelly J. VANDERGRIFT -
"What a SPREAD of CROCK that is!!!!!" - JAY VAN -
ENGLISH LESSON OF THE DAY: Bi-Polar and/or BorderLine Personality Disorder.
Just so yall know, THE ONLY TIME I EVER used her key was ONCE, and that was THE DAY she gave it to me AT HER APARTMENT, with HER PRESENT, and all I did was TEST IT to see if it would work. She had AMPLE chances to come get it, but she is NOT ALLOWED to DRIVE her OWN car due to her oldest son (a very good driver) and her EX-Husband. Her CURRENT husband isnt allowed to drive it either DUE TO THEM. And NOW, according to her, it has been REPO'd.
She cant even take her YOUNGEST, MINOR SON to the DENTIST because of THEM 2 ADULT MEN. That PROFESS to LOVE her SO MUCH. ha Ha HA. WAKE UP PEOPLE.
Will the COMMON-SENSE INTELLIGENT PEOPLE READING THIS....please EXPLAIN to me HOW I can be "controlling" since we HAVE NOT LIVED TOGETHER SINCE 2007? I have NO SAY in WHAT, WHERE, WHEN, and HOW she does things and WHO she does things with. Even when we were on GOOD TERMS, she WOULD NOT convey, communicate, or tell me anything via text, instant messenger, emails, OR phone calls. When we DID talk on the phone or on IM, she would HANG-UP WHEN SHE DIDNT WANNA HEAR IT. So HOW in the HADES is THAT controlling? Please advise.
I love my wife and I am proud of her for doing so well in college online. She is taking classes to HELP PEOPLE AVOID the SAME THING she is DISHING OUT. Her cloudy is judgement and skewed. Her negative is thinking. No forgiveness for ability. I consistently and constantly THUNK about her 24/7 and did things FOR HER 24/7. I had to BEG her to tell me anything, something. Sometimes it would have been easier to carry on a conversation with a POISONED OAK TREE IN TOOMER'S CORNER. Except EXCEPT for the QUACKER-STATE OF PA, has ANYONE in ANY STATE reading this right now ever heard of a DIVORCE CLINIC WHILE GOING TO GROUP THERAPY? I thought not. You go to GROUP THERAPY to get help and the LEAD QUACKER asks the CIRCLE in THE GROUP...HEY DOES ANYONE WANT TO GET DIVORCED TODAY? and one idiot raises her hand and then the next, and then they go in a room, and the PRO BONO attorney already HAS the papers splayed out and all they have to do is fill in the blanks. And THEN THEY want to MAKE ME PAY ATTORNEY FEES AND COURT COSTS.
I rescued and helped my wife ESCAPE benton, PA TWICE and showed her and taught her WHAT LIFE WAS ALL ABOUT. HOW TO HAVE FUN, showed her all around ALABAMA, took her to BAMA GAMES, BISCUITS GAMES, the BEST FOOD ON EARTH, the NICEST PEOPLE ON EARTH, THE BEST WEATHER, BEST LOOKING GIRLS, ETC. Now due to her family and EX-family SCREWING her to death AND ALL THEY DO IS take Take TAKE and TAKE some MORE. She now WANTS me to be MISERABLE, when I was PERFECTLY HAPPY AND CONTENT HAVING ONLY HER IN MY LIFE. I gave her all the extra money I had and bought her and her kids food. Gave her gas money ABOVE AND BEYOND what a taxi would cost me. I bought her gifts and presents FOR NO REASON BUT LOVE and for SURPRISES. I STAYED AWAY from her apartment to KEEP THE PEACE as to not NOT cause a conflict with the 2 sorriest excuses of male human-beings you HAVE EVER SEEN.
You want PROOF of how much I LOVE HER...I went AGAINST MY RELIGION and bought her and had shipped to her FRONT DOOR, a GREEN ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE T-SHIRT. Only BECAUSE GREEN is her FAV COLOR. CRIMSON was/is her 2nd fav or it was.
That is BONA-FIDE PROOF OF MY LOVE. I would NOT have done THAT for anybody else on the planet. And there was no special day or special occasion when I did THAT for her. Just a regular day. I got to see her wear it ONE TIME, and that was all :(
Make a wish on the first bird you see on or after your birthday. Your wish will come true within the year.
INSULT OF THE DAY: I bet your mind-reader only charges YOU half-price.
"It is a WISE father/mother that KNOWS his/her own child." - William Shakespeare -
"A merry heart doeth good like medicine." - PROVERBS 17:22 -
"A good scare is more helpful than good advice." - Edgar Allan Poe - (or is it Allen?) my bad if I speeled it wrong. Sorry.
University of Pennsylvania Health Study shows that drinks like SLIM-SLOW that contain SEAWEED FIBER will help DELAY your feelings of HUNGER. (no comment.)
THINK POSITIVE: (some people NEED to). DEMAND what YOU WANT from life. Only YOU have control Control CONTROL over YOU, NOT ANYONE ELSE. Put THAT in your smoke-clinic and divorce it.
In reference to #58 above...Sir William Shakespeare was born in 1564 (I think we had SNOW that year). He died 52 years later after writing 38 plays.
JAY VAN has been toying around with writing a play. It would start out by having an 18+ year old SON, call his MOTHER via telephone on CHRISTMAS DAY and the SON says to his LOVING MOTHER..."BITCH, IF YOU DONT WIRE ME $1,500.00 DOLLARS TODAY, I WILL NEVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN!" I mentioned the idea to my grandmother MAMA HILL and her exact EXACT words would have been..."SO LONG SON!" But in my idea for the play, the MOTHER gets the money from her NEW HUSBAND IN ALABAMA and then she DOES WIRE THE MONEY. What would YOUR mother say or do? I bet I could get ONE MILLION MOMS TO REPLY AND NOT ONE would have WIRED IT, NOT A SINGLE ONE. Oh wow, I just noticed that this is #64. How appropo is that?
"The TROUBLES of MY HEART are ENLARGED. O' bring thou me out of MY distresses." - PSALMS 25:17 - AMEN.
TRAVEL TIP: Tie a yellow string around your ankle before you leave on a journey to protect you from harm along the way. JAY VAN HAS NEVER HAD A CAR ACCIDENT OR WRECK WHILE DRIVING, and I only use CRIMSON STRING. :)
INSULT OF THE DAY: Yo' momma's SO FAT, people JUMP over her rather than go the long way around.
"GOD not only plays dice, he throws them in the corner where you cant see them." - Stephen Hawking -
JAY VAN gives girls FERVID feelings of pleasure. (I have references to prove it.)
Be open-minded when a friend lets you down -- IF they have a VERY GOOD explanation.
Well, it IS baseball season, and way back in 1876 (I think we had SNOW that year), the Boston Red Stockings beat the Philadelphia Athletics in the very first National League Baseball Game.
"Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act. Do not say to your neighbor, 'Come back later; I'll give it tomorrow' - when you now have it with you." - PROVERBS 3:27-28 -
Hang a sprig of rosemary over a newborn's crib to ensure a life of good health.
"2 are better than 1, because THEY have a good return for their work." - ECCLESIASTES 4:9 - (That Bible Verse is also the MOTTO of JOHN & BARRY at http://www.sportsradio740.com/ )
THINK POSITIVE: YOU are confident! That is how you ROLL!! Make it YOUR day!!!
INSULT OF THE DAY: What happened? Did someone put a STOP PAYMENT on your REALITY CHECK??
WOOHOO, #77, my jersey number from playing Right Tackle in football.
For those of US who WISH to REMAIN married like myself, LOVE TIP OF THE DAY: Remind yourselveS of ALL the GOOD TIMES STILL to COME. Make a DREAM BOOK of things you WISH TO DO TOGETHER IN THE FUTURE.
"Gray skies are only just clouds PASSING over." - Duke Ellington -
"Growing OLD is MANDATORY. Growing UP is OPTIONAL." - John Hamilton -
obama Health Care Study shows that having the MONONUCLEOSIS VIRUS AND limited SUN EXPOSURE will raise your risk of contracting MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS.
The hospital in VANDERGRIFT, PA (it is a REAL city) has released a HEALTH STUDY that finds that GIRLS EXPOSED TO JAY VAN have a 100% chance of getting and having MULTIPLE O's. The VANDERGRIFT, PA HOSPITAL has a LIST OF WINNERS provided upon request.
Women that plot, plan, and connive are a CABAL.
"I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with MY RIGHTEOUS RIGHT HAND." - ISAIAH 41:10 -
For a FREE DESSERT TODAY, the SECRET WORD IS: BEAR.
It is BAD LUCK to place a glass on top of anything purple.
INSULT OF THE DAY: No WONDER you're a team player. There's NO CHANCE you'd EVER develop a PERSONALITY ON YOUR OWN.
"The ONLY thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money." - Johnny Carson -
"LISTEN carefully, especially when you talk about yourself." - Helen Keller -
"When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world." - John Muir -
MOST AUBs have INCHOATE brains and personalities.
"Your FATHER knoweth what things you have NEED of BEFORE you ASK HIM." - MATTHEW 6:8 -
IF you ever break a LAMP, walk quickly in a CLOCKWISE circle around it to keep the bad luck away.
INSULT OF THE DAY: I dont know WHAT your problem is, but I bet it is HARD to pronounce.
"They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." - Andy Warhol -
UAB Health Researchers have found an INCREASE in KIDNEY DAMAGE for patients that take the weight-loss drug ORLISTAT. I also saw that on FOX NEWS CHANNEL. F*CK CNN. (sorry couldnt resist).
IF you BUY a lottery ticket using money that you just FOUND, you have a BETTER chance of winning. - Gamblers Anon HandBook Step #1 -
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who FEARS the LORD is to be PRAISED." - PROVERBS 31:30 -
POSITIVE THINKING - FAKE IT till you MAKE IT. If you struggle with being confident or HAPPY, then FAKE IT, and IT WILL MANIFEST TRUE. (this is VERY TRUE YALL).
INSULT OF THE DAY: Why dont you GO BACK to the PETRI DISH where your parents met?
"A little NONSENSE now and then is RELISHED by the WISEST MEN." - Ronald Dahl -
DITTO on #101. I love wording around with plays. I usually kill 2 stones with 1 bird.
IF my wife makes me have to TESTIFY in court, I am going to REMONSTRATE every chance I get.
One of the greatest mistakes in life is to live as if you fear making mistakes.
On this day in 1986, APR 26th, a MISTAKE was made during an EXPERIMENT at the Chernobyl nuclear power station which caused an explosion that killed DOZENS to start with.
"I WISH above ALL THINGS that thou mayest PROSPER and be in health, even AS THY SOUL prospereth." - 3 JOHN 1:2 -
#106 is my PRAYER FOR YOU ALL THIS DAY, and that is enough for today as well.
I STILL LOVE, WANT, AND NEED MY WIFE, MY KELLY-BABY. PERIOD.
- END FOR TODAY -
thanks for reading yall :)

Monday, April 18, 2011

QUOTES AND OTHER MUSINGS FOR MON 4-18-11 and/or obama's TAX DAY (ROLL TRUMP ROLL)

1. Well, I am still alive, but as of yet, my procrastinating A$$ has NOT been to the hospital yet. I am VERY PI$$ED OFF that my YANKEE-FIED cable/internet company does NOT have ESPNU and NEITHER can I get http://www.espn3.com/ via my so-called high-speed internet, due to the fact that my YANKEE-FIED provider STILL has antique "cable-wires" made out of yankee mud or clay or something along those lines. Thus I was UNABLE to WATCH and/or even LISTEN to the ALABAMA A-DAY GAME this past SAT 4-16-11. Since my good friend and "buddy" JOHN LONGSHORE has a CRIMSON HOTLINE to HIS "buddy" HEAD COACH NICK SABAN, I am BEGGING that John PLEASE URGE the REAL-LIFE PERSONA of the NEW STATUE in TUSCALOOSA; to PLEASE RUN UP THE SCORE against the penn state cowardly lions on 9-10-11. Here is a hint for John, tell NICK YOUR BUDDY, to PRETEND cam newton is in the game. Let's make the score 240-0 this year. When are we getting the wisconsin badgers on the schedule. You heard it here first people. I am hereby "coining" the NICKname "NITTS" to refer to penn state from this day henceforth, thereby it be said by me thus :) Longshore, my birthday is 9-21. Send me 4 tickets and I PROMISE TO REPRESENT ALABAMA at State College in PA on 9-10-11. My grandfather took me to my very FIRST BAMA game when I was 12 and it just so happened to be the GOAL-LINE STAND GAME. How fitting it would be for me to POSSIBLY (depending on my health) to have my LAST BAMA GAME against the SAME TEAM at THEIR home field. I damn sure cannot afford to drive to T'TOWN anymore, dadgum it. I am only 90 miles away from State College. I could even GET THERE on the FRIDAY before the game, and be a SPORTS RADIO 740 phone-in reporter. I can walk around "Paterno-Ville" and ask the NITTS if they REALLY THINK they have a chance in HELL of pulling out an upset or even "covering" the spread. I could have an insiders BUDDY-HOTLINE to THE AWARD-WINNING PHANTOM also. hint, Hint, HINT, ALABAMA FOOTBALL - ENUFF SAID :) JAY VANs phone number is 334-782-3111. YES SIR, it STILL works up here in yankee-land. (only because IT IS WIRELESS, unlike my dadgum cable and internet). DAMN, I should get PAID for writing.

2. INSULT OF THE DAY: Your STUPID-A$$ is SOOO STUPID, you couldn't find your own A$$ with BOTH hands tied behind your back.

3. I have never watched the CW tv-show HELLCATS, but I DO LIKE the cheerleaders in the commercials. For a FREE HELLCATS RINGTONE goto: http://4in.fo/XifvQQ

4. "It's kind of fun to do the impossible." - Walt Disney -

5. "Your conscience is the part that still hurts when EVERYTHING ELSE feels just great." - Joe Namath -

6. As yall all know, JAY VAN is PSYCHIC, I bet BROADWAY JOE said THAT while partying with some HOT GIRLS. Just a theory :)

7. 45 people dead from the Tornados from the SOUTHEAST all the way up to North Carolina. Over 200 tornados reported. 3 dead from Autauga County in AL. Over HALF of the 45 dead are from NC. WOW. GLOBAL WARMING MY A$$. ALL TORNADOs are caused by COLD-FRONTS, which I so eloquently refer to as YANKEE-AIR. That is truly sad, my prayers are with the friends and families of those affected.

8. "Thine eyes shall see the KING in his BEAUTY: they shall behold the land that is very far off." - ISAIAH 33:17 -

9. "Magic is real and its all around us. We are just too blinded to stop and watch." - Stevie Wonder -

10. "If you yawn without covering your mouth, you are inviting evil spirits to enter your body." - Linda Blair -

11. For those that ARE STILL IN LOVE: Do you feel distant every now and then? It is normal. Focus on the memories of WHEN you FIRST fell in love with each other.

12. "Common sense in an uncommon degree is what the world calls wisdom." - Samuel Coleridge -

13. ALABAMA STILL HAS 13 NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS IN FOOTBALL. CONGRATS TO THE ALABAMA GIRLS GYMNASTICS TEAM for winning their 5th NC over the weekend. ROLL GIRLS ROLL :)

14. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Never be afraid to do something new. Amateurs built the ARK; professionals built the TITANIC. :) true, very true.

15. obama spent TONS of money doing a NATIONAL HEALTH CARE SURVEY which shows that 75% of our kids DO NOT get enough exercise. The obama "experts" are recommending 1 hour per day for exercise. Can anybody spell the word, DUHHHHHHHHHH???

16. JAY VAN says UNPLUG THEIR DADGUM TOYS AND MAKE THEM GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY. Probelm SOLVED :)

17. "Stand still and consider the WONDROUS works of GOD." - JOB 37:14 -

18. JAY VAN firmly believes in and stands by the KING JAMES VERSION of THE HOLY BIBLE, but when I get these BIBLE VERSES on a daily and weekly basis, they are NOT ALWAYS FROM the KJV, so please accept my apologies. If anyone WANTS the KJV of any particular verse, please let me know, and I will send it to you AS IT IS WRITTEN :)

19. If you drop your fork AND knife TOGETHER at the same time, it means that you will SOON have a VISITOR from FAR AWAY.

20. INSULT OF THE DAY: You SMELL soooo DADGUM BAD, you make your SPEED STICK HIT THE BRAKES! :)

21. "A handful of patience is worth MORE than a bushel of brains." - Dutch Proverb -

22. "The DEVIL has MANY tools, but A LIE is the handle that FITS them ALL." - Daniel Webster -

23. JAY VAN ponders how many AUBs (except Barry McKnight) or how many NITTs will figure out WHAT I just did in #22 above?

24. The current APR issue of UAB HEALTH is officially claiming that daily intake(s) of broccoli, green tea, and red grapes are VERY VITAL KEY ingredients in having a cancer-fighting diet.

25. POSITIVE THINKING: Forgiving those who have hurt you CAN be difficult, but the peace you receive from doing so is ASTONISHING.

26. This is TRUE, believe me it is. I KNOW it is TRUE because I read it on the internet...NEVER display an EMPTY picture frame, or EVIL SPIRITS will occupy that space. It is required by THE INTERNATIONAL INTERNET LAW that you place and put ALL empty frames FACE-DOWN. If you DONT, obama will make DADGUM SURE you are on the NO-FLY LIST.

27. "Life is FAR too important a thing to EVER talk SERIOUSLY about." - Oscar Wilde -

28. Private-Services Announcement from JAY VAN: Every day they are giving away $100.00 to TEN lucky girls that are either NEW MOMs or EXPECTING MOMs. Call 1-866-880-9631. If you can PROVE the baby belongs to JAY VAN, they will check the NATION-WIDE DATABASE and you will win $200.00 cash money. As GOMER PYLE says, "Lotsa luck to you and yours!" :)

29. Along those lines... JAY VAN has a LIMITED-TIME OFFER FOR GIRLS ONLY. Due to LIMITED QUANTITIES, JAY VAN IS OFFERING THIS TO GIRLS ONLY. repeat, Repeat, REPEAT, GIRLS ONLY. JAY VAN has the PERFECT teeth-whitener that works 100% of the time. For your FREE SAMPLE, please call JAY VAN at 334-782-3111, so we can schedule a consult. :) It has been TESTED on MANY lucky ladies, and it is PROTEIN-RICH AND most importantly it is NON-FATTENING. JAY VAN highly suggests that you TRY IT at least once per day, every day for 30 days FOR BEST RESULTS. You will ONLY get OUT OF IT, 100% teeth-whitening brilliance. NO NEED TO RINSE. JAY VAN has MANY SATISFIED CUSTOMERS and JAY VAN can PROVIDE SWORN TESTIMONIALS if needed. Let JAY VAN POLISH YOUR LUCKY MOUTH TODAY :) or tonight if you wanna see them GLOW in the DARK. :) :) :)

30. But WAIT, THERE's MORE... On a DAILY BASIS, there will be a RANDOM DRAWING like they do at http://www.sportsradio740.com/ THE LUCKY LADY OF THE DAY, if HER name is the one DRAWN; will get her TEETH-WHITENING PROCESS DONE FOR FREE on THAT DAY, and as a TAKE-HOME GIFT will be given the world-famous SLAP-CHOP FOOD PROCESSOR. YOU WILL LOVE YOUR WHITE TEETH AND YOU ARE GONNA "LOVE MY NUTS" ALL IN THE SAME DAY. CALL JAY VAN NOW TO AVOID THE RUSH. 334-782-3111. If you dont WIN today, you may PLAY AGAIN TOMORROW. DON'T GIVE UP GIRLS, DON'T EVER GIVE UP. YOU CAN DO IT. :)

31. "A hair on the head is worth two in the brush." - Unknown -

32. On a day in and day out basis, obama is FULL OF DUPLICITY.

33. "Blessed is the man who TRUSTS in the LORD and has made the LORD his hope AND confidence." - JEREMIAH 17:7 -

34. JAY VAN says to go ahead and treat yourself today. You DESERVE a WONDERFUL PRIZE for your commitments AND accomplishments.

35. It is VERY GOOD LUCK to see an animal sleeping on a doorstep.

36. INSULT OF THE DAY: Your Momma is SOOOO UGLY, when she entered the AUBURN UGLY WOMAN CONTEST, the AUB JUDGE, Barry McKnight, said to her, "Sorry, no professionals allowed!"

37. For THOSE of YOU that DO NOT know HOW to drink REAL COFFEE LIKE A MAN, if you QUIT going to BarStucks on a daily basis and put down that LATE LATTE'; you can SAVE about $1100.00 per year in CASH and SAVE 69,000 calories PER YEAR.

38. For the LADIES that just HAVE TO HAVE their BARSTUCKS on a daily basis, dont worry if your teeth get "coffee-stains". Please refer to #29 and #30 ABOVE for the REMEDY. DRINK ALL YOU LIKE LADIES :)

39. "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are TRULY ENDLESS." - Mother Teresa -

40. JAY VAN is not sure if he mentioned this or not, but this past WED, APR 13th, was NATIONAL SCRABBLE DAY. Well, JAY VAN WON 1st PLACE in the WISCONSIN STATE SCRABBLE TOURNAMENT in the year 2000. I would LOVE to play ANYBODY with enough intestinal-fortitude to play me. I actually GOT TIRED of playing people and in kicking their A$$ all the time, that I have pretty much STOPPED playing. ANY TAKERS? BRING IT ON. I also am pretty adept at playing CHESS. I have ALLOWED others to WIN, just so they would play me again. INTELLIGENT GAMES are disappearing at an alarming rate. JAY VAN is http://www.boredwithit.com/ because our kids ARE NOT learning ANYTHING today that requires THINKING.

41. ADVICE for RUSTY and/or the I-man: A minute of silence is MORE powerful than an hour of talk. Rusty has the SAME DISEASE my 1st wife had: VOCAL CORDS.

42. The MAYO CLINIC has released a statement that usage of antibiotics to treat acne DOES NOT create drug-resistant bacteria. Hmm? I will have to do my own research on that to see if I believe it or not. The MAYO CLINIC is pretty smart though.

43. "I came that you may HAVE and ENJOY LIFE and have it in ABUNDANCE, until it OVERFLOWS." - JOHN 10:10 - 44. Well everyone, I have given you an ABUNDANCE of things to read and to think about for today, and to keep it from OVERFLOWING, I am done for today. POOF :)

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

QUOTES and OTHER STUFF FOR WED 4-13-11

1. I am still tweaking my first website. I will work on the design, and most importantly, add links to my friends websites and stuff like that.

2. Not sure exactly when, but I am going to admit myself into the hospital for my DEEP VEIN THROMBOSIS. I have TONS of blood clots in both legs from the knees down. Swollen legs, ankles, AND feet. I have been on LOVENOX shots for exactly 6 months + 1 day. If I survive this, I will keep yall posted when I get home. Now on with the show.

3. Your lucky numbers for today. 31 16 34 22 19 and 3.

4. If you are lucky enough to be reading this, you have a potential urge and the ability for accomplishment.

5. Place a penny in your pillowcase and you will have good luck the following day.

6. http://4in.fo/XVrPBA

7. INSULT OF THE DAY: Calling YOU stupid would be an INSULT to STUPID PEOPLE :)

8. "Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever." - Napoleon Bonaparte -

9. The more difficult the obstacle, the stronger you are for tackling it.

10. The United Kingdom's Flag, the UNION JACK was created in 1606 and is a combination of the 3 flags from Great Britain, Ireland, and Scotland.

11. "Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." - JAMES 1:19 -

12. If sparks jump out of a fire, BEWARE...someone near you is JEALOUS of your happiness.

13. INSULT OF THE DAY: If we looked INSIDE your head, we would see that YOUR BRAIN WARRANTY EXPIRED long ago :)

14. "I never see what HAS been done. I only see what REMAINS to be done." - Marie Curie -

15. Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color, not the other way around.

16. "Positive thinking will let you do EVERYTHING better than negative thinking will." - Zig Ziglar -

17. "GOD loveth a cheerful giver." - 2 CORINTHIANS 9:7 -

18. The more we obsess about OBTAINING something, like money or love, the LONGER it takes and the UNHAPPIER we are.

19. INSULT OF THE DAY: Your momma is SO FAT, the NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE has to assign NAMES to her FARTS!!!

20. All women PREFER a 50/50 relationship men. So lets give it to them. They cook, we eat. They clean, we dirty. They iron, we wrinkle. Sounds good to me :)

21. THIS IS FOR THE LADIES: Hey girls, HOW do you STOP your husband or boyfriend from READING your emails? Easy, rename your email folder as "INSTRUCTION MANUALS".

22. "The BEST car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it." - Dudley Moore -

23. Here is a FOOLPROOF trick to make your computer go faster; throw it OUT the WINDOW.

24. JAY VAN DEPRECATES all LIARS.

25. "The desire accomplished is sweet to the soul." - PROVERBS 13:19 -

26. Confidence CAN be obtained. It is arguably the BEST virtue of being successful.

27. Everyone makes mistakes. If you make a thoughtless comment, don't forget the power in a simple apology.

28. "It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can AFFORD to be STUPID with them." - Ralph Waldo Emerson -

29. When your big dreams turn to dust, it's time to find the vacuum :)

30. JAY VAN can ALWAYS SPOT people that PREVARICATE.

31. "EVERYBODY LIES." - Dr. Gregory House -

32. "Be strong and do not lose courage, for there is reward for your work." - 2 CHRONICLES 15:7 -

33. You can PRINT by using your phone. http://4in.fo/XMX3Rg

34. That is all for today yall. PLEASE pray for my health issues. Thanks. POOF :)

Friday, April 8, 2011

QUOTES FOR FRI 4-8-11

1. "Refuse the evil, and choose the good." - ISAIAH 7:15 -

2. Clinking your beer bottles or your wine glasses together will "knock" the BAD spirits out of the alcohol, and will reduce the hangover. AMEN. Works for me :)

3. INSULT OF THE DAY: Your momma is SO FAT, she's got SMALLER FAT WOMEN orbiting around her :)

4. "Men ALWAYS WANT to be a girl's FIRST LOVE, and girls WANT to be a man's LAST ROMANCE." - Oscar Wilde -

5. If you made any DONATIONS via your cell phone, you can get a donation tax receipt at www.mGive.org/R or email them at: care@mgive.org

6. After JAY VAN SATISFIED his latest conquest, she was very QUIESCENT.

7. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. Thanks for the "THOUGHT" Sheri.

8. All of you will learn very quickly, never fear. - JAY VAN -

9. Your lucky numbers for today: 29 44 13 22 5 47.

10. "Let not the Sun go down upon your wrath." - EPHESIANS 4:26 -

11. A new UAB Health Study says that even very brief "instructions in meditation appears to help people cope with pain." - UAB Medical Center, UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA @ Birmingham -

12. Today, APR 8th, 1893, the VERY FIRST recorded COLLEGE BASKETBALL game was played between Geneva College and a YMCA team. A 14-year old girl RELATED to Michelle Ruiz won the bracket contest that year, and the YMCA team was coached by a relative of John Longshore. - http://www.google.com/ -

13. Hmmm, #13 again. ALABAMA has 13 NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS BABY. And, I know this to be VERY TRUE... A picture of an ELEPHANT facing your front door will bring good health and prosperity to ALL who live there.

14. INSULT OF THE DAY: I whole-heartedly DISAGREE. Your INFERIORITY COMPLEX is COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED in my eyes.

15. JAY VANs TAP TIP OF THE DAY: To pour the perfect beer; tip the glass at a 45-degree angle, pour slowly to LESS than an inch to the lip of the glass, then let it settle, then top it off, and then hand it to me please :)

16. Scientists at McMaster University in Canada have created a vaccine to "treat cat allergies." About freaking time.

17. If you hit someone with a broom or a mop, even by accident, they will become lazy. Damn, somebody call the Mobile Police Department in Mobile, ALABAMA. Somebody has been beating the crap out of my friend DANA. :) just kidding Dana, couldnt resist :) Maybe that is why your knee hurts all the time, somebody beating your knee with a broom and mop.

18. Money won't buy you happiness, but it lets you be miserable in some really nice places. Right David?

19. "Never to suffer would be never to have been blessed." - Edgar Allen Poe -

20. "Put away LYING, speak every man truth with his neighbor: for we are members one of another." - EPHESIANS 4:25 -

21. After being ABSTEMIOUS for over 6 months, JAY VAN decided to have a beer.

22. After creating my new blog/website, this will be my very INCIPIENT "post."

23. "Love each other deeply, because love covers over a multiple of sins." - PETER 4:8 -

24. I cannot stand UNCTUOUS two-faced liars. Some of the worst kind of people on the planet.

25. When "Rusty" called the BUDWEISER SPORTSLINE WITH JOHN & BARRY on http://www.sportsradio740.com/ I was very NONPLUSED at his usual IDIOTIC comments.

26. "One may experience sorrow during the night, but joy arrives in the morning." - PSALMS 30:5 -

27. "For every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness." - Ralph Waldo Emerson -

28. The ONLY weapon that becomes sharper with constant use is the TONGUE.

29. I am being GRAVITAS when I say this, I was only FUNNIN'. (As Andy & Barney say).

30. "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." - PROVERBS 15:1 -

31. TIP OF THE DAY FOR HOT GIRLS: It is VERY bad luck for HOT GIRLS to wear pants or jeans while playing cards. Why? Because it is a proven FACT, that if you cross your legs while playing cards, you're MORE LIKELY to LOSE. This applies with ALL GAMES played on a table. So ladies, keep those feet on the floor! Besides, due to random gravity fluctuations BEYOND our control, us MEN-FOLK are more prone to accidentally on-purpose drop things on the floor, that for some reason, takes us a long time to find, once we drop said item. I PRAY THAT ALL THE HOT GIRLS KEEP WINNING :)

32. "We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing MUST be attained." - Marie Curie -

33. I have no clue who dreams this stuff up, but TODAY, FRI 4-8-11 is NATIONAL DRAW A PICTURE OF A BIRD DAY. I drew a picture of the AUB mascot, the most-famous "WAR CHICKEN". If anybody wants to see the picture, please email me at JAYVANBAMAFAN@gmail.com and I will GLADLY send it to you at no charge :)

34. "To LOVE someone DEEPLY gives you STRENGTH. Being LOVED by someone DEEPLY gives you COURAGE." - Lao Tzu - I personally, can PROMISE you that THIS IS VERY TRUE!

35. MONEY is like COW MANURE at COW COLLEGE in auburn, AL. It is NOT WORTH A THING unless you spread it around. So for the lucky readers that are reading this today, YOU ALONE can HELP ME PROVE THIS by spreading some of your money towards me. Email me at JAYVANBAMAFAN@gmail.com for my mailing address. Remember, I am a DISABLED USAF VETERAN on a VERY FIXED INCOME. As I have given to complete strangers in the past, IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL VERY GOOD. So start "spreading" yall.

36. "Be kind ONE to ANOTHER, tenderhearted, FORGIVING one another." - EPHESIANS 4:22 -

37. I have been VERY BLESSED to have KNOWN some girls that are EXTRA TASTY. YUMMY!!! But I found a website that will teach you HOW to make drinks. It is http://www.extratasty.com/ or you can email Kelly at kVanBAMAfan@gmail.com and she can TEACH you how to make this AWESOME drink called DENNIS THE MENACE. It is VERY GOOD and you CANNOT even taste the alcohol in it. Please let me know what you think about the site.

38. JAY VAN is dealing with some financial, medical, personal, & physical problems. JAY VAN needs LUCRE.

39. JAY VAN is famous for saying things like, KILLING 2 STONES WITH 1 BIRD, and my friend GREG, says things EXACTLY like me, when he refers to himself as a HALK-SHOW TOAST. Very VERY funny. I love it. So along those lines, ALWAYS proof-read carefully to see if you any words out.

40. "WISDOM is a fountain of life to him who has it." - PROVERBS 16:22 -

41. Kelly and I used to OWN 2 HOMES. VERY long story, but we LOST BOTH HOMES due to OTHERS' actions. We have/had legal documented proof to prove that. But one thing we were BOTH VERY PROUD of was the fact that we were NEVER known to BEDAUB either home.

42. Dadgum, that last post was very hard to compose :)

43. I read the following ONLINE NEWSPAPERS via email every single day. The BIRMINGHAM NEWS, the HUNTSVILLE TIMES, the MOBILE PRESS-REGISTER, and the MONTGOMERY ADVERTISER. I have YET to read ONE single article about people getting "HIGH" on BATH SALTS. But they are DAMN SURE doing it in PA and WI. Kelly has relatives that CHEW on PAIN PATCHES. She also has relatives that crush, and grind-up pain-pills like percocet, so that they can SNORT them. In addition to Kelly, I have bought BATH BEADS, BATH OILS, BATH SALTS, etc., as a ROMANTIC THING for other girls, BEFORE I EVER met Kelly. I would pour the lucky girl a glass of wine, light some candles, and run them a luxurious bubble bath, all in the name of ROMANCE. The GIRLs LOVE IT. Pretty soon you are going to need a PRESCRIPTION to take a bubble-bath. Sad, sad, and UN-FREAKING-REAL.

44. My entire point in #43 is this: The difference between GENIUS and STUPIDITY is that GENIUS HAS SOME LIMITS. Different as day and night, and as different as North and SOUTH. Dont worry though, I am sure it will catch on in ALABAMA. There are STUPID-PEOPLE in ALL 50 STATES + Canada :)

45. Here is another JAY VAN LOVE TIP: This works for BOTH male and females. Pick ONE month of the year, where you tell each other ONE NEW SECRET, EACH DAY OF THAT MONTH. Something YOU HAVE NEVER TOLD EACH OTHER. It will help CREATE TRUST; which a relationship and/or marriage WILL NOT WORK WITHOUT TRUST. You can also goto http://www.postsecret.com/ and check out that website.

46. "May the LORD continually BLESS YOU with Heaven's blessings as well as with human JOYS." - PSALMS 128:5 -

47. JAY VAN has been BLESSED COUNTLESS TIMES by GOD and others. I have been blessed so many times, I cannot count that high. I am also VERY GRATEFUL and THANKFUL. THANK-YOU LORD :)

48. It was an AFFLATUS that led me to #46 and #47.

49. "Education is WHEN you READ the FINE PRINT. Experience is what you get if you DON'T read the fine print." - Pete Seeger -

50. JAY VAN is a VERY patient man, but ONE of the very FEW ways to PI$$ me off is in talking to people that EQUIVOCATE on a constant, non-stop basis. TRY ME. I dare ya :) My brother Hank is like that, and drives me insane. I could name more people like that, but I dont want to hurt any feelings.

51. JAY VANs NEW MOTTO: ENJOY LIFE. There's PLENTY of time to be dead.

52. "Unto you that FEAR MY NAME shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in HIS wings." - MALACHI 4:2 -

53. The AUBs and the NITTs WILL BE FEARING the name of NICK SABAN this coming Fall. If ANYONE disagrees with me, shut-up, put your mouth where your email is and money me at JAYVANBAMAFAN@gmail.com

54. BEFORE the ALABAMA vs. penn state NITTany lions game last year on 9-11-10, I bet SIX NITTs that BAMA would WIN. Well as of today, there is still 1 NITT that has REFUSED to pay me. One good thing I can say about BAMA and AUB fans, THEY ALWAYS PAY UP. Way to go NITTs. The NITT fans $UCK. At least the ones that wont pay up. I LOVE JOE PA. But the game was in SEPT, and I didnt get PAID from the 1st NITT untill FEB of 2011. FIVE WHOLE MONTHS AFTER THE GAME. Must not be much pride in being a NITT.

55. I joke and play around alot, but let me PROMISE YOU, everyone that is LUCKY enough to read this; I want everybody to know that 99.9% of what I type is VERISIMILITUDE.

56. The FDA has APPROVED a new SHINGLES vaccine for people aged 50+. It is about 70% effective.

57. I should make yall readers PAY ME for this one, heehee. INSULT OF THE DAY: I am terribly sorry. I SHOULD NOT talk about YOUR MOM......I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE MAN!!!

58. Wow #58. Before his tragic death in a car accident due to not wearing his seat-belt, my ALL-TIME favorite player for ALABAMA was #58 DERRICK THOMAS. An outstanding linebacker that went on to play MANY years for the KANSAS CITY CHIEFS in the NFL. He was my favorite ALABAMA player of ALL-TIME before the wreck. To this day, I still never knew EXACTLY why. I cried for a very long time when he did die.

59. Even though I HATE these SISSY-FIED new "composite" bats that the NCAA is making college teams use now, I still LOVE college baseball. I just entered a contest to win an ALL-EXPENSE paid trip to the COLLEGE WORLD SERIES in Omaha, NE. http://tiny.cc/ncaacws

60. In closing, let us ALL remember: "Let us LOVE, NOT in word or speech, but in TRUTH and ACTION." - JOHN 3:18 -

61. Yall please remember...Thank-You all for reading, and PLEASE feel free to email me and/or call me anytime, day or nite, 24/7, 365 days a year at JAYVANBAMAFAN@gmail.com and my number is 334-782-3111.

62. I hope & pray that ALL of you have a very "LIVELY" family. That is all for today. POOF.