KNOWING HOW TO ACT & QUOTES FOR MON 5-23-11

1. Just heard on FOX NEWS RADIO that a man in ohio is SOOO bummed out about THE RAPTURE not happening this past SAT, 5-21-11, that he has filed a disability claim saying he has END OF THE WORLD POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER, due to the fact that IT DID NOT HAPPEN.
2. A man in michigan won ONE MILLION DOLLARS in the MICHIGAN STATE LOTTO and due to a loop-hole he is still getting FOOD STAMPS every month.
3. May GOD BLESS the families and victims of the tornado that nailed Joplin, MO this morning.
4. For ALL of my loyal readers and newbies also, let me ask yall a question. WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Picture this scenario please:  You have an apartment or a home and you have either INVITED guests in your home OR you have UNINVITED guests in your home. While they are there, you happen to step outside, or go to the bathroom, etc., and YOUR HOME PHONE RINGS or YOUR CELL PHONE RINGS...and WITHOUT your permission, your guest ANSWERS YOUR PHONE and starts talking CRAP to the person calling you. WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Would you EVER let that person IN your apartment or home EVER again?
5. Please email me at JAYVANBAMAFAN@gmail.com or call me at 334.782.3111 and let me know your opine please.
6. Well, as most of you know I have been dealing with and fighting this MONSTROSITY of an ailment known as DEEP VEIN THROMBOSIS. In short, I have swollen legs, ankles, and feet, from the knees down on both legs. I recently had a VEINOUS DUPLEX ULTRASOUND done on both legs from my groin to the tips of both sets of toes (KY Jelly is COLD). The results showed the blood clots are still there but THEY ARE SHRINKING due to me taking Lovenox injections in my stomach twice per day. I also had lung X-rays and as of today, I am STILL (THANK GOD) lung-CANCER FREE. YAYYYY.
7. WHAT WOULD YOU DO if your EX was in your apartment and PRETENDED TO BE YOU on your cell phone AND on your computer???
8. That is why I TITLED this post as KNOWING HOW TO ACT. Some white-people embarrass me.
9. You will have BAD DREAMS if you change your bed linens on a Friday.
10. Sometimes the most GIVING, LOVING thing you can do is to try things a different way - your husbands or wifes way. (AMEN!)
11. Today is NATIONAL LUCKY PENNY DAY.
12. "You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through." - Rosalyn Carter
13. I hope and pray that when you read my website, that you dont find anything containing a LONGUEUR.
14. Many people speak because (and only because) they dont know how to be silent.
15. A new MAYO CLINIC HEALTH RESEARCH STUDY suggests that daily cellphone use could have a NEGATIVE impact on male fertility.
16. Today, 5-23, in 1929, the first talking Mickey Mouse cartoon was released. His first words were "HOT DOGS!"
17. The Hamilton Family contains many, Many, MANY LIBERTINES.
18. Today is MAY 23rd, 2011, and it has RAINED EVERY SINGLE DAY THIS MONTH in the town where I presently reside. We are having a nice little thunderstorm right now, with NO TORNADOS...THANK GOD!!!
19. If you say goodbye to a friend on a bridge, you will NEVER see that friend again.
20. INSULT OF THE DAY:  Why dont you slip into something more comfortable?...LIKE A COMA!!!
21. "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." - Eleanor Roosevelt -
22. JAY VAN makes ALL GIRLS SLAVER when they HEAR my ALABAMA ACCENT. You may call me anytime 24/7 to find out :)
23. Habits are like a rope. You add a thread every day, until it is impossible to break.
24. UAB Health Research Study shows that by CROSSING YOUR ARMS, you can REDUCE PAIN by confusing your brain's nerve and pain receptor signals.
25. On MAY 22nd, 1906, the WRIGHT BROTHERS were awarded a patent for their "FLYING MACHINE".
26. I can NEVER understand why SOME people want to even TRY being BELLICOSE with me.
27. If you start making a bedspread or quilt, FINISH IT! If you dont, you will be unlucky in love.
28. INSULT OF THE DAY:  When you go to the mind-reader, do YOU get HALF-PRICE?
29. "I never think of the future - it comes soon enough." - Albert Einstein -
30. The best way to eliminate temptation is to succumb to it.
31. 90% of ALL ALABAMA GIRLS have a BEAUTIFUL PHYSIOGNOMY.
32. A new obama health-care study shows that taking Viagra could increase your risk of hearing loss.
33. Glad I dont have to worry about THAT problem :)
34. Divorce or breakups can bring about LACHRYMOSE.
35. May 21st, 1956, THE USA exploded the first AIRBORNE HYDROGEN BOMB, nearly obliterating the Bikini Atoll Islands. The BIKINI that HOT GIRLS WEAR derived its name from the same set of islands :)
36. "A man of an ill tongue is dangerous in his city; and he that is rash in his talk SHALL be HATED." - SIRACH 9:18 -
37. Passing a child through the branches of a maple tree means good health and long life for the child.
38. INSULT OF THE DAY:  If MOSES had seen your face, there would have been ANOTHER COMMANDMENT :)
39. "Sometimes it is not enough to do our best; we must do what is required." - Winston Churchill -
40. A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
41. If yall happen to notice any TYPOs, then please let us NOT make a FOOFARAW over it.
42. JAY VAN LOVES TO QUAFF.
43. When you clip your fingernails, it is GOOD LUCK to always start with the index finger.
44. INSULT OF THE DAY:  Whats wrong? Did you get up on the wrong side of the CAGE this morning?
45. "Courage is going from failure to failure WITHOUT losing enthusiasm." - Winston Churchill -
46. For EVERY complicated problem, there is a SIMPLE, easy to understand, WRONG ANSWER :)
47. JAY VAN loves playing with FUNGIBLE words.
48. Mayo Clinic Health trials show that new MELATONIN-BASED anti-depressants may help improve your sleep cycle quality and your moods.
49. "They that sow in tears shall reap joy." - PSALMS 126:5 -
50. In baseball, it is bad luck to touch the baselines while running on and off the field.
51. INSULT OF THE DAY:  Your TEETH are SO YELLOW...I CANT BELIEVE ITS NOT BUTTER!!!
52. That is a very good way to end this post for today. Thanks for all the prayers. GOD BLESS YOU!